Free Food

“Sunny,

happy with the music no money

i’m thinking you on holiday

sipping your lemonade”

(Song by Alexandra Stan – Lemonade

Here we go again, doing something that I did last year; Looking for free food.

There was a local event when I could get free food not far from my old neighborhood, but five and a half miles from where I live currently. I walked for more than five and a half miles to get there because I have no money to ride a bus, It took more than two hours to get there, and two and a half hours to went home because I felt my leg hurt on the way home, especially my hip joint, therefore I should walk slowly.

At first, I didn’t like long distance walking, I felt miserably poor when I did this, but it’s been the fifth time I did this, so I was kind of used to it, it’s not as bad as I thought, though.

It felt so good when I arrived at the event, they had my favorite junk food and all, and I brought some food for later. It also felt so good and very nostalgic to be there, I remember what I used to did in previous years, I remember when I was homeless but full of faith that God will feed me no matter what. Being homeless was a great experience for me, it taught me a bunch of wisdom to have faith in any situation, a kind of experience that I don’t want to repeat, nonetheless. Maybe I should write a blog about it later. Dealing with memories of hard time is never been easy.

I am not homeless anymore, I have a job, I have a dwelling, but somehow it feels like the old days, I felt like a homeless because I couldn’t afford food and decent transportation mode. am I failed? am I repeating the same mistake? am I live in a loop? am I not learned the lesson? what am I doing wrong? I need more time to contemplate it.

But to think that I made a mistake twice make me feeling useless, it’s not the first time that I am “not learning”. I realize that it’s frustrating to repeat the same mistake again and I don’t want to do this anymore in the future.

I have time to improve myself, and also to create a strategy to reach my goals, even though it’s rather hard to do this with so much worries about survival and basic needs, now I understand how poor people out there could not find a way out poverty, because it’s hard to think clearly with an empty belly.